Funny Comments

So I have two pretty interesting patients right now - both have traumatic brain injuries, which result in some pretty funny comments. Here are a few I heard yesterday:

Patient #1:
The nurse comes in to check on him while he's in the bathroom: "Are you OK in there?"
"Yes, and thank you for your interest. I can really tell you care how much I pee." (He says it with genuine sincerity).

After a 30 minute session where we are doing nothing but talking, he says: "You know, I just need some attention. If someone could spend just 10 minutes talking to me, I think I could get better."

I stepped out of his room for 2 minutes to get him some juice. When I came back in he says: "Boy, you look familiar."


Patient #2;
I brought in some applesauce and ice chips for him to try and eat, and he says: "You know, if I had a tail right now, it would be wagging."

(This didn't happen to me, but I heard about it and couldn't help including it) He's sitting on the edge of his bed getting dressed and has his shirt off. He looks up to the female occupational therapist and says, "I hope I'm not turning you on. I have my shirt off and I'm so muscly" (then makes a weak attempt at flexing his non-existent muscles).

Forced Volunteerism

Ben received an interesting email yesterday, that I felt compelled to share. Evidently, certain individuals have forgotten what both the concept and definition of volunteering and service really are. Below is the message he received:

"Brethren,
I'm sure you already received the other email we sent out regarding Stake Conference. Don't worry, this one is not a duplicate. This particular email is going out to those elders in the quorum who, according to our records, have yet to fill any sort of service assignment in the quorum (sealings, canning, moving, etc.) since the ward was created about a year ago. We realize that most, if not all of you have church callings which undoubtedly take up a good amount of your time, so time is limited. Thank you for fulfilling those callings that you already have. However, YOU are on our "hit" list now. We are going to be approaching you to help fill quorum assignments, until we've given everyone the opportunity to serve, at which point we'll rotate back through the list of all Elders in the quorum (approximately 90 in all).

Our next assignment is Sunday for Stake Conference. The Stake has tasked our ward with providing two brethren to assist with ushering parking, AFTER the general session. If you would like to volunteer, and avoid the possibility of being "assigned" this, or any subsequent duties, please let us know, and we can remove your name from further, similar emails. We will advise this same group of any up-and-coming assignments.

Thank You brethren for your faithfulness.
Elders Quorum Presidency"

Now, I'm completely aware that Ben is not a big fan of volunteering to help for things - mainly because he doesn't like to do things that take him away from his wife and kids (because we really do struggle to all be together for any length of time as is). However, Ben is always one of the first people to offer to help someone he knows do anything from manual labor, to finding a job, to watching their kids. So, to basically be told that he will be receiving constant emails and is now on a "hit list" until he volunteers, is completely backwards. As the adage goes: "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar," and it's completely true. Because now, with this forced volunteerism in effect; someone who really would have helped under other circumstances, has now told me that he WILL volunteer, but volunteer to be taken OFF their list.

Spring is Here

Well, the calendar may say it's Spring time, but if you look outside and see the snow coming down and wonder why you still can't put your winter coat away, you may think otherwise.  But, despite the weather, Easter is on it's way.  We got Easter pictures taken of the kids yesterday, and every time we try to get professional pictures taken it's an interesting experience.  The last several times we have gone, we've been lucky to get one picture with both of the kids - and that one picture usually has a mad or sad Kiki.  This time around, McKinley was actually somewhat decent, and after about an hour, we ended up getting 6 fairly good pictures.  I was so excited to get something that actually had both of my kids smiling, that I had to post them.  Here they are:

X vs Y

Over the past decade I have been slowly developing a theory on the difference between men and women when it comes to sickness and pain. I've noticed that there is a high tendency for men to take something as simple as having a cold and morph it into being something as serious as a death-bed sentence. Truthfully, I thought this trait was something that was either developed over the years or something that was fostered into them by their parents. This past weekend, however, I was proved wrong. This tendency is not something that just grows over time - no, it is gene deep. The differences lie in the tiny distinction in our chromosomal make-up - the addition of the Y chromosome.

Carson and McKinley came down with a cold this weekend (yes, the same cold - so my little research study is still valid) and the differences between them were quite surprising. Here were their different responses to very mundane events:

Eating dinner:
Mckinley: Takes a few bites, lays her head down on the table, takes a few more bites.
Carson: "I can't, I'm sick. I might throw up." Pushes his food away.

Walking up the stairs:
McKinley: Deliberately and slowly makes her ways up the stairs, taking breaks every few steps.
Carson: "I can't, I'm sick. Carry me." Lays down on the floor like a limp fish.

Taking a bath:
McKinley: Endures the bath, without making a peep.
Carson: "I can't, I'm sick. It's too cold." Keeps trying to turn on the water to make it warmer - and then when it is, complains it's too hot.

Going to bed:
McKinley: Lays down on her pillow, snuggles up to her blankey, and goes right to sleep.
Carson: "I can't, I'm sick. Lay down with me - it's too dark." Screams when Ben tries to leave the room.

Watching movies:
McKinely: Lays down quietly on the couch, not really caring what is on, just as long as her mommy or daddy is close by for cuddles.
Carson: Throws a fit when a movie gets put on that wasn't his choice, sits down on the floor with his arms folded in defiance, and then when asked to get back up on the couch exclaims, "I can't, I'm sick."

By the time last night was over I was at my wits end. Clearly, the reaction to a simple cold lies in the Y chromosome's ability to handle anything negative. Obviously it is beyond it's capacity to deal with anything painful or slightly annoying. Therefore, my conclusion to this study, is that anyone in possession of a Y chromosome is not only incapable of dealing with any kind of ailment appropriately, but also they must really, truly think they are worse-off than anyone else in the entire world.

Midnight for Twilight

So, I'm not terribly certain if anyone else is as quite as obsessed as I am about this hole Twilight phenomenon, but I just can't help myself.  I think I have read each one of the books in the series at least 7 times (including the unreleased 5th book - Midnight Sun).  Tonight, at midnight, the first movie in the series is being released on video.  Now yes, the movie was certainly not as good as the book (I mean, seriously, how could it be); but as it's own entity, it was great.  If you still aren't a fan of either medium, perhaps you might be able to appreciate the music.  I've grown to like this band more and more - and because I can watch Edward's gorgeous face in this video, it makes it that much better.   Enjoy!

Paramore - New Music - More Music Videos

Great Example Dad

Today in Carson's Primary class his teacher was talking about all the different things you can do on Sundays to help bring the Spirit into the home.  She went around the class and asked each kid about what they did this morning, trying (I assume) to get a variety of different examples.  My son, trying hard to be honest responded:

"I ate donuts and watched Pinnochio."

Great.  So not only did he not respond with a more well-rehearsed response of "read the scriptures, pray, or sing church hymns;" but it also shows how poor his eating habits really are.  The only saving grace that I have is that I happened to be working today - although I'm not quite sure the outcome or response would have been much different.

So Dainty

McKinley has become quite the little eater lately - although she is still as picky as ever. If you put something on her plate that she likes (or feels like eating at that particular moment), she can literally eat more than myself. The other night we had Cafe Rio, and she loves their black beans. Ben ordered her an entire side-order of beans, which she enthusiastically dipped into their creamy sauce. It was quite the disgusting spectacle to watch, and the outcome resulted in a very messy little girl. We had to put her straight into the bath, but I don't think I can complain too much, because at least she ate.