Funny Comments

So I have two pretty interesting patients right now - both have traumatic brain injuries, which result in some pretty funny comments. Here are a few I heard yesterday:

Patient #1:
The nurse comes in to check on him while he's in the bathroom: "Are you OK in there?"
"Yes, and thank you for your interest. I can really tell you care how much I pee." (He says it with genuine sincerity).

After a 30 minute session where we are doing nothing but talking, he says: "You know, I just need some attention. If someone could spend just 10 minutes talking to me, I think I could get better."

I stepped out of his room for 2 minutes to get him some juice. When I came back in he says: "Boy, you look familiar."


Patient #2;
I brought in some applesauce and ice chips for him to try and eat, and he says: "You know, if I had a tail right now, it would be wagging."

(This didn't happen to me, but I heard about it and couldn't help including it) He's sitting on the edge of his bed getting dressed and has his shirt off. He looks up to the female occupational therapist and says, "I hope I'm not turning you on. I have my shirt off and I'm so muscly" (then makes a weak attempt at flexing his non-existent muscles).